Перевод на английский, оригинал находится здесь.
Glory Professional Alliance Sports Meet
Chairman Feng: We are at the tail-end of summer, as the autumn wind rounds the corner. Thanks to the valiant efforts of the Sports Committee and the participants, the first Glory Alliance Sports Meet opens today! (Applause) Blah blah blah……
Wei Chen: Damn it. Why is Old Feng so long-winded today? He was never this bad during the pro-league prize presentations.
Ye Xiu: Yeah, it’s been almost an hour. Man, I’m about to be burned to death.
Wei Chen: What the fuck are you doing?
Ye Xiu: I can barely stand. Come on, let me lean on you for a bit.
Wei Chen: Get off. Can’t you see that I’m in the same situation?
Ye Xiu: Get Cold Hands to recover your HP.
Wei Chen: Why don’t you do that!?
Fang Rui: Hey, will the two of you keep it down? Have some restraint.
Wei Chen: Fang Rui, you shameless fucker. Saying that when you’re about to fall onto Tyranny’s side yourself.
Ye Xiu: Say, Old Han, aren’t you Tyranny people feeling the heat in all that black clothing? Who’s the designer? Does he hate you?
Huang Shaotian: Hot like hell hot like hell hot like hell hot like hell hot like hell hot like hell! Captain, don’t you think that the Alliance must be brain dead from the heat? What’s with organizing such a stupid Sports Meet before the competitions? That’s totally heartless and inhuman! Don’t you agree, Captain? Don’t you agree?
Yu Wenzhou: Chairman Feng has mentioned that the body is essential to playing games. Therefore pro-players also need to train up.
Wei Chen: Haha. Do you really buy that explanation?
Yu Wenzhou: Ah. Hello Captain Wei.
Huang Shaotian: Say, Boss Wei. How could you eavesdrop on others’ conversations?
Wei Chen: Bullshit, kid. Who needs to eavesdrop when you’re that loud? Didn’t you see Old Feng glaring at you from the corner of his eyes? [Pang Guang = corner of his eyes]
Huang Shaotian: Side glance, Boss, it should be side glance. “Pang Guang” is for pissing. [Pang Guang = bladder]
Wei Chen: Piss off! I meant “pang” as in side! Are you looking for a beating?
Huang Shaotian: Hey, hey, a gentleman doesn’t raise his hands.
Wei Chen: (hitting while saying) I am so raising them! Raising and using them!
Huang Shaotian: Sidestepping, sidestepping. Haha, heh, you can’t hit me~
Cheng Guo: (speechless) Seriously, that’s enough…
Tang Rou: Frankly, it’s a pretty daunting task for people who aren’t used to working out to compete in such sweltering heat.
Ye Xiu: Sigh. Should have applied for sick leave. I’m starting to miss the keyboard and in-game world.
Lin Jingyan: God Ye is sick? What illness?
Han Wenqing: Final stage of lazy cancer.
Everyone: Pft! (laughter)
Steam Bun: What? Boss has cancer? Oh no! When did that happen?
Ye Xiu: Steam Bun, you…
Su Mucheng: Shh. Quiet, quiet. The Chairman is almost done with his speech.
Chairman Feng: … And I hereby announce, the Glory Alliance Friendly Sports Meet, starts now!
Pan Lin: Hello everyone, I am Pan Lin, your announcer for today.
Li Yibo: And I am Li Yibo.
Pan Lin: First up is the Men’s 200m heats. Let us put our hands together to welcome our first group of competitors!
Li Yibo: They are: Wei Chen from Team Happy, Huang Shaotian from Team Blue Rain, Xiao Shiqin from Team Thunderclap, Wu Yuce from Team Void, and Li Hua from Team Misty Rain.
Wei Chen: Thank you! Thank you, everyone, for all your wishes and support towards me.
Huang Shaotian: Boss Wei, please keep your shamelessness in check. Are you sure those cheers are for you? Take a closer look. See, those are obviously banners for Blue Rain!
Blue Rain Fans: Blue Rain, Blue Rain is the best! Blue Rain, Blue Rain beats the rest!
Wei Chen: Hah. It even rhymes.
Pan Lin: Ok, everyone is prepared and ready to go. And the referee raises his gun.
(Cheers)
Pan Lin: And with a bang, Huang Shaotian is the first to head off, as expected of the best opportunist of the Alliance!
Li Yibo: Right on his heels is Wu Yuce. Ah! And Wu Yuce has overtaken Huang Shaotian! He is fast!
Pan Lin: But Huang Shaotian is not giving up. He is speeding up, and it seems… That he’s shouting something?
Huang Shaotian: Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you! Look, here’s my triple slash speed boost! AHHHH!
Li Yibo: Huang Shaotian sure is energetic…
Pan Lin: Ah, Li Hua is also close behind! And Misty Rain’s female fans are screaming their hearts out!
Li Yibo: Over at the finishing point, Dai Yanqi is waving her arms wildly, cheering for her team captain, Xiao Shiqin. Such touching team spirit!
Dai Yanqi: Good luck, Captain! All the best! Captain is the coolest! (squeals)
Pan Lin: And so, Wei Chen is the last of them! He’s quite a distance from the finishing line, it’ll be quite hard to catch up.
Li Yibo: Well, it does seem like this level of activity is somewhat taxing for the old guard.
Pan Lin: Yeah.
Wei Chen: (sounds of panting and slow steps)
Pan Lin: As Wei Chen gets slower and slower, Wu Yuce becomes the first to cross the finishing line! That’s truly rare athleticism for a professional gamer!
(Wei Chen stops, panting)
Wei Chen: (gasping)
Ye Xiu: Say, can you still go on?
Wei Chen: Old… Old me… Is… Is just… Just…
Ye Xiu: I understand, I understand. This elderly one is proving a point~ Shall I call an ambulance for you?
Wei Chen: … Fuck off…!
Li Yibo: Next up, the 2nd heats of Men’s 200m is about to start. In the order of their respective lanes are: Wang Jiexi of Team Tiny Herb, Zhang Jiale from Team Tyranny, Zhou Zekai from Team Samsara, Yang Cong from Team 301, and Zou Yuan from Team Hundred Blossoms.
Zhang Xinjie: You’re up, Senior Zhang Jiale.
Lin Jingyan: All the best! We believe in you.
Zhang Jiale: No sweat. 200m is nothing.
Ye Xiu: Good luck, Le Le. Aim for number 2~
Zhang Jiale: (shows the middle finger) Fuck you!
Jiang Botao: Captain, do your best too.
Zhou Zekai: Mm!
Ye Xiu: Xiao Zhou looks like the kind who exercises regularly.
Zhou Zekai: Yes. Every day 20.
Ye Xiu: 20?
Zhou Zekai: 500m, 20 rounds.
Ye Xiu: …(awkward cough) Erm, go on quickly, the referee’s calling for you.
Pan Lin: Great, everyone’s now in their respective lanes.
(Gunshot)
Li Yibo: And the race starts! Zhou Zekai is staying put in the lead position and behind him are Zhang Jiale, Zou Yuan, Wang Jiexi, and Yang Cong.
Huang Shaotian: The hell? Does Zhou Zekai intend to run all the way with this speed? Good looks, great gaming skills, and this good at running? Heaven is being absurdly unfair!
Ye Xiu: Uh-huh, it’s quite unfair.
Huang Shaotian: You think so too, right?
Ye Xiu: Why are his conversation skill points all given to you?
Huang Shaotian: … You asshole!
Pan Lin: There’s 50m left! 30m! And Zhou Zekai has started sprinting! He’s sprinting!
Li Yibo: Awesome! Zhou Zekai leads all the way and is the first to cross the finishing line! That was superb!
Pan Lin: Zhang Jiale also meets everyone’s expectations, doing a good job of taking the number 2 spot. Ah, he’s pointing his… Middle finger at me, expressing his current, erm, enthusiastic feelings…
Ye Xiu: Take it easy, Old Sun.
Sun Zheping: Thanks.
(Ye Xiu turns, almost bumping into incoming Zhang Jiale)
Ye Xiu: Whoa! Hey, aren’t you too eager to see Old Sun? After all, Zhang Xinjie’s also in this round. You should put on your professional best to support your team, Tyranny.
Zhang Jiale: (gasping) Pah! As if you have any right to criticize me. Who’s the one that’s been going around all morning, putting a wedge among the rivals in competition?
(Zhang Jiale turns to wave at Sun Zheping)
Zhang Jiale: Do your best, Big Sun!
(A sudden burst of fangirls screaming among the spectators)
Fangirls: Zhang Jiale! Sun Zheping! One million years of Blossom and Blood! One~ Million~ Years~ [Blossom and Blood: their famous combo move]
Zhang Jiale: (shocked) What the hell… What is this!?
Ye Xiu: Just focus on watching the game…
(Zhang Jiale drinks water)
Zhang Jiale: (swallows) Sigh, I can’t tell what Sun Zheping is thinking. He usually doesn’t exercise. It’s a miracle if he even bothers to sweep the floor…. Hey, don’t spread this around. I’m screwed if he finds out I’ve been complaining behind his back.
Ye Xiu: No problem~
(Ye Xiu turns his head to shout)
Ye Xiu: Dear friends from Heavenly Sword! I’ve heard that Old Sun doesn’t even sweep his own floor! Send my heartfelt regards to your cleaning lady!
(Zhang Jiale spits out his drink)
Zhang Jiale: (coughs) Fuck, do you want to die? Don’t run!
Ye Xiu: I am off~
(Ye Xiu runs off)
Zhang Jiale: (shouts) Just you wait, Old Ye! I will get my revenge someday!
(At Samsara)
Du Ming: This looks nice. This one’s also good. So hard to choose…
Lu Boyuan: Du Ming! What are you doing, acting so suspiciously?
Du Ming: Ah?! No…nothing in particular!
(Phone is snatched)
Du Ming: Hey! Give it back!
Lu Boyuan: Yo! Pretty lady Tang Rou huh~ Not a bad photo.
(Jiang Botao walks over)
Jiang Botao: Tang Rou?
Du Ming: Um.. Taken just… Just now during the Women’s 200m race.
(Swipes the phone)
Jiang Botao: Well, this one looks nice.
Du Ming: Thank you, Vice Captain.
Jiang Botao: What is it for?
Lu Boyuan: Need you ask? For his handphone wallpaper, of course~
Du Ming: Go away!
Li Yibo: The morning matches have all ended. We will continue in the afternoon at 1.30pm. Have a good break, and we’ll see you again in the afternoon!
Li Yibo: Hello everyone, good afternoon! I am Li Yibo.
Pan Lin: And I am Pan Lin.
Li Yibo: Welcome back to the live of the first ever Glory Sports Meets. You probably still can’t get enough of the exciting matches from this morning. Worry not, as there’s more to come!
Pan Lin: First up is the finals for Men’s Long Jump. In this match, we have our famed Glory Textbook, God Ye Xiu! A rare sighting indeed!
Li Yibo: That’s right! What else could be more exciting than that?
(Behind the scenes)
Ye Xiu: Say… Is it too late for me to back out…?
Chen Guo: Too late! Go, go!
Su Mucheng: Do your best~
Steam Bun: Good luck, Boss! Good luck!
(Ye Xiu is pushed out)
(Crowd cheering)
Pan Lin: Oh? Speak of the devil! Team Happy’s Captain, Ye Xiu, has just appeared on the pit.
Li Yibo: God Ye Xiu immediately strikes up a conversation with Sun Xiang who is also competing in this category.
Pan Lin: The two of them have a somewhat delicate relation in the Pro-Alliance. I can’t help but wonder what they might talk about before the match.
Li Yibo: Now that you’ve mentioned it, I’m curious too!
(Ye Xiu walks over)
Ye Xiu: Comrade Sun Xiang looks spirited. But are you prepared to admit your loss to this awesomeness in front of you?
Sun XIang: You…!
Jiang Botao: Sun Xiang, it’s your turn!
(Crowd cheering)
Sun Xiang: Hnn!
(Sun Xiang left)
Ye Xiu: Ah, that kid’s still as impulsive as ever.
(Sun Xiang aims)
Sun Xiang: Hng!
(Sun Xiang jumps)
Pan Lin: Sun Xiang’s record is a little unexpected… But to be able to jump 2.5m, it’s already not bad for a professional gamer, right? Yibo?
Li Yibo: Haha! That’s right. After Sun Xiang, we’ve now come to Ye Xiu’s turn. Fans here are pretty worked up right now! Ah, someone just threw a water bottle from Tyranny’s side.
(Cheers and Boos)
Ye Xiu: Fans are way too passionate. Oh well, with my overwhelming popularity, that can’t be helped.
(Ye Xiu walks over)
Pan Lin: God Ye Xiu is getting ready to jump! What will his result be? Let‘s keep our eyes peeled!
Ye Xiu: 1, 2, 3… Hey ho!
(Ye Xiu jumps and lands)
(Crowd boos)
Pan Lin: (awkward)…..Erm… Ah…. This is a friendly match after all, nobody is a professional athlete. 1.9m is already quite good…
Li Yibo: Yes, yes… Ye Xiu is probably much better performing in Glory. Erm…. Moving on to the next match!
(Behind the scenes of Team Happy)
Wei Chen: My back is about to break!
Ye Xiu: Don’t say anymore. I have a headache – it’s as if I’ve listened Huang Shaotian perform a crosstalk…. For that team captain friendly something-or-other match later, can I pretend I’m dead?
(Chen Guo jumps up and slaps Ye Xiu’s back)
Chen Guo: Of course not!
Ye Xiu: Oooh ouch ouch pain pain pain!
Chen Guo: Other teams have gotten quite a few champions! We have nothing except for Steam Bun’s win at discus throwing!
Ye Xiu: Sis, it’s just a friendly match…. Surely you don’t have to be so serious?
Chen Guo: Even if it’s a friendly match!
Wei Chen: Girl, you’re getting desperate…
Chen Guo: Shut up!
Pan Lin: Everyone! We are now at the most exciting part of the day! The final match of this Sports Meet, the Three-Legged 200m Run!
Li Yibo: This is a friendly match where all the team captains participate together in groups of two. Each group is decided by random draw. Isn’t it exciting? Aren’t you looking forward to it?
(Crowd cheers and screams)
Li Yibo: Let us take a look at the final outcome of the draw.
Pan Lin: Okay.
Li Yibo: Blue Rain’s Yu Wenzhou with Samsara’s Zhou Zekai; Void’s Li Xuan with Hundred Blossom’s Yu Feng.
Pan Lin: Tiny Herb’s Wang Jiexi and Excellent Era’s Qiu Fei….. Oh? Who’d have thought, who’d have thought!? Team Happy’s Ye Xiu and Tyranny drew the same lot! Hahahahaha! This must be destiny!
(behind the scenes)
Ye Xiu: Are they trying to make a joke out of me?
Fang Rui: My, my! What a rare matchup! O’ Great Ye Xiu is lucky today!
Tang Rou: Do your best, I favour you two.
Wei Chen: (claps Ye Xiu’s shoulder) I truly admire the close relationship you two share.
Qiao Yifan: Captain, be careful not to trip.
An Wenyi: Captain, you… are really my idol.
Luo Ji: Captain, we’ll all be cheering for you!
Su Mucheng: I needn’t say anything. You know~
Mo Fan: Er… Good luck.
Chen Guo: (claps Ye Xiu’s shoulder) Get a hold of yourself! See, even Mo Fan is cheering for you. Do a good job and don’t tarnish Happy’s reputation!
Ye Xiu: You all definitely planned this together…
(Tyranny’s F4 comes over)
Zhang Jiale: Hahahaha! Serves you right! Karma’s a bitch!
Zhang Xinjie: (serious) All the best. I believe in the unspoken understanding between Captain and Senior Ye Xiu.
Lin Jingyan: (gleefully fanning fires) Haha! Me too!
(elbows Han Wenqing)
Ye Xiu: Wipe off that suffering look, Old Han. Do you think I’m happy? This is the fault of the ballot…
Han Wenqing: Don’t drag me down.
Ye Xiu: Che. That’s my line. Don’t you dare trip in the middle of it. Many pairs of eyes will be staring hard at you.
Han Wenqing: Same to you.
Steam Bun: Boss, you can definitely do it!
Fang Rui: Good luck, good luck~
Steam Bun: Good luck, Boss!
(Crowd cheers)
Tyranny Fans: Tyranny! All the best! Tyranny! All the best!
Happy Fans: Go Happy, go! Go Happy, go!
Su Mucheng: What’s there to fight about when those two are already tied together… Do the fans still want them to fight each other while tied up?
Wei Chen: Must be a sin…
Huang Shaotian: Captain good luck good luck good luck! Zhou Zekai, don’t you dare drag our Captain down!
Sun Xiang: For all you know, it’s the other way round.
Huang Shaotian: What about it? You looking for a fight? Tonight 8pm PK in the arena! Whoever doesn’t turn up is a scaredy cat!
Sun Xiang: Fine! What’s there to be afraid of?
Ye Xiu: It’s real lively, huh. Say, Old Han, let’s start with the tied legs first. Look at Xiao Shiqin and Yunxiu discussing, (leans over to whisper) I’ve heard all their tactics.
Han Wenqing: So did I.
Ye Xiu: Bravo, Old Han. Never knew that your heart’s pretty black too.
Han Wenqing: Hn, not as black as yours.
Ye Xiu: Hah.
Li Yibo: All the groups have been announced and the team captain’s legs are all tied together. Everyone’s ready to go.
Pan Lin: I’m sure all the fans with us are as excited as we are. Let’s cut the chatter. An amazing race is about to start!
Ye Xiu: (whisper) It’s this leg.
Han Wenqing: Shut up.
(Gunshot, Crowd cheers)
Fans: Go! Go!
Pan Lin: This three-legged match demands synchronisation from both partners. And as everyone knows, all the captains are opponents.
Li Yibo: That’s right. Will they be able to overcome their enmity in such a short time and become friends?
Yu Feng: (impatient) Li Xuan, is the rope a little loose? Why do I feel like my legs are getting lighter?
Li Xuan: (panting) That’s because my leg isn’t even reaching the ground okay!?
Qui Fei: (cautiously polite) Senior Wang Jiexi, aren’t we being… a bit too cautious? We have only moved four steps…
Yu Wenzhou: Wait a moment, Cap’n Zhou, hold on! You’re going too fast, I can barely keep up… Ah… now it seems too slow…
Chu Yunxiu: (testily) Darn you, Xiao Shiqin, run slower! Mind the pace, the pace! Counting 1, 2… That’s not 1! 1 is the right leg! Right! You are using your left!
Xiao Shiqin: Sis, my left leg is your right leg!
(Fans cheering)
Li Yibo: Looks like this particular competition is of some difficulty for these long-time rivals.
Pan Lin: But the most unbelievable thing is Ye Xiu and Han Wenqing, who are in the lead right now! And they’re ahead of the current number 2, Yu Feng and Li Xuan, by almost 50m!
Li Yibo: That’s right! Speaking of which, they’re both nearing the finishing line!
Li Yibo: Go for it!
Pan Lin: They’ve passed it! That’s simply incredible! The number 1s are actually Tyranny’s Han Wenqing and Happy’s Ye Xiu, who’ve been bitter rivals for 10 years! Have they just proven that “your enemy knows you best”? This is crazy! The fans of Tyranny and Happy are also ecstatic! They’re waving the team flags enthusiastically!
Tyranny fans: Tyranny! Champion! Tyranny! Champion!
Happy fans: Happy! Champion! Happy! Champion!
(Ye Xiu bends to untie the rope)
Ye Xiu: Damn it….
Han Wenqing: (impatient) What’s taking you so long?
Ye Xiu: Fuck… Who was the one who tied the rope on us!? It’s a dead knot!
Chairman Feng: To all the participants, referees, and people involved in this event. After a long day of intense matches, we’ve come to the end of the first ever Glory Alliance Sports Meet. Each exciting moment shall be a part of our memorable journey with Glory. Regardless of winning or losing, glory is forever in our hearts. Among all the blessings we’ve received, to be able to stand here together is our greatest blessing….
(below the stage, everyone is whispering/chatting)
Su Mucheng: Hahaha~
Cheng Guo: What’s so funny, Mu Mu?
Su Mucheng: Guo Guo, see this. Pictures of Old Ye and Old Han tied together are being spread all over Weibo by fans.
Tang Rou: That looks like the Alliance’s Weibo interaction with the fans, doesn’t it?
Fang Rui: Let me see! Let me see! Oh~ The photo’s pretty good.
Wei Chen: Hey, hey, this angle is a bit too….
Steam Bun: Woah, it’s trending like crazy! Boss, you’re a super hot topic~
Huang Shaotian: What is it? What is it? I want to see too, I want to see! Let me see! Damn it, Su Mucheng! Don’t you switch it off! Hey!
(ruckus)
Ye Xiu: Eh, Old Han. Maybe we should take a selfie of ourselves and post it up.
Han Wenqing: (black face) Go away!
Chairman Feng: …..and friends, thank you everyone for your eager participation in the Glory Alliance Sports Meet. Next year we shall continue to do our best!
Huang Shaotian: Geez! It’s finally over~ Seriously, the Alliance organising such a stupid sports event. Pah! Zhou Zekai you bugger! Getting three golds for Men’s 200m, 1000m and high jump alone! Where’s the fairness in that? And that Wu Yuce, so what if he has long legs? What’s so great about that? And that Yu Feng! And that, that Bao something! I protest! The Alliance should seriously consider banning these buggy people from competing! Oh~ Right, right~ Old Ye and Old Han’s photo broke a million views! That’s definitely a headline for the next Gaming Weekly Magazine! It totally proves that what goes around comes around~ Heaven has eyes and you can’t hide~ Hahahahahaha!!!
Ye Xiu: What is Shaotian muttering to himself over there?
Han Wenqing: His skin itches [for a good thrashing.]
[END]